Thursday, April 12, 2007

expectancy

one of my least favorite angel cards..
as a matter of fact,
i took it out of the pack,
along with responsibility..
and others..
much to my sister's chagrin!

which brings me to the subject..
of expectations..
as i walk..
i wonder if i am fulfilling
every ones idea of what they
think should be happening
on this walk for peace!
i wonder if i am fulfilling
my own expectations..?

i wonder if i really have any
that are not in direct relation
to everyone else?
i wonder..
does anyone really have any of me?

when i am referred to as
the peace pilgrim, i wince!
for i inquire daily
into my own motive for walking..
is it merely a holiday?
shirking responsibility?
(that other angel card)
walking for peace, really?

still..
everyday,
every single day,
there is a golden
needle that threads a bead
of peace on the rosary
i am walking..

whether it is a trucker who tells me:
be careful, dearie!
or a driver who pulls over to ask:
where are you going, mam?
(what is a mam? am i one?)
or those who thank me for doing
what i am doing!
what am i doing?

simply walking..
sometimes riding..
always waving
for the peace
that begins with me..

there is no time for inner demons
to raise their many heads..
only for..
a place to stay..out of the rain..
a snack for the
low,
lower,
lowest
blood sugar vein..
water to drink,
a place to pee..
is this the walk for peace
we all had in mind?

i'd have to say..
yes!
yes, it is..
the walk i have in mind daily..
the simple presence
of the present moment
on the roadside of now.

wow!
look ma!
no expectations!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I expect that you are expecting this Annie Dillard quote ;)

"I walk out, I see something, some event that would otherwise have been utterly missed and lost; or something sees me, some enormous power brushes me with its clean wing, and I resound like a beaten bell."