noble friendship is the whole of holy life
i was given a card i had sent to my dear
and o so loving friend, nancy jean..
some 8 plus years ago..
it was a picture of a ginger cat, a kitten, really..
and a dog, maybe a jack russell..
dressed in black leather biking jackets
chains and all..
earnestly looking at the photographer ~
(probably wondering,
what the farnbag are we doing here
and why are we dressed like this?)
on the inside, it read :
you and i are more than friends.
we're like a really small gang.
nancy jean stark died on september 23rd..
on her daughter's birthday and
on pablo neruda's death day..
well chosen..
when a death arrives on such sacramental days
it is considered quite auspicious and a blessing..
the death day is thereafter noted as an anniversary ~
my mother, who was the hostess with the mostess
at her home, the nantucket inn, in anacortes,
was the first to meet nancy and her family..
they chose to stay at the inn
while looking the towne over
to buy a home and settle down..
as i was gallivanting about between india
and los angeles..sallie was cultivating
a sweet and long-lasting friendship
with nancy et al..
she would make mention of this darling family
often with many a remark..
... you will really enjoy meeting nancy..
and she was most certainly right..
after i arrived home
to open my first yoga studio above
what is now cafe adrift..
we immediately started hanging
and brainstorming and walking
and conjuring ~
we created the gypsy basket_
a trunk show of sorts, held monthly
at the nantucket..scarves and papers,
holy molies, cards and objets d'art..
i recall we even had a fashion show!
when i turned 33 i decided to walk 33 miles
and then get on a plane for india..
baaaad idea!
nancy drove along the hi way with her kids in tow,
supporting a dozen or so yoga practitioners
as we walked to a dear olde friend's house
on mccorquedale road..where we drank beer
then turned around and headed back home..
baaaad idea!
after that, nancy and i became hoofers
all over fidalgo island ..
we might be gone an entire day ~
over the river and through the woods..
she shared with me the stations of the cross,
being a good catholic girl,
which we summoned in the forest lands
around cap sante and washington park
on numerous easter sundays..
we made it through 4 husbands together ..
two each..with one more before we met..
a half a dozen marriages..between us..
(although i like to say,
never married but divorced 3 times..)
i was cured after 3
~ it is a charm, you know ~
yet i do believe nancy would have jumped
into the wedding ring yet again..
such was her faith in true love ..
as i wrote in the opening of her book
letters to my children ~
...we have walked through marriages and divorces,
a few firey affairs and been left in the ashes
only the great birds fly out of...
how many friday night movie nights
have we sat through..and bowls of popcorn?
thank you, jovan!
how many poems have we read together
sprawled out on her bed while resting?
how many crossword puzzles
have we barely completed ?
~ to stretch our minds and keep us nimble!
how many double batches of biskutina have we made
the week before thanksgiving..?
taking up 2 days of gathering and baking..
giving all mine away and coming to her house to eat some...
no wonder her kids always hid the cookie jar from me!
our really small gang theme song was:
ne me quitte pas - by the great jacques brel
translated as ~
don't quit me
we didn't, we haven't, we won't..
we have a sister code that
we will use to recognize one another
in our next lives,
or at the right hand of god,
or wherever we may land
through the veil
on the other side
in the great empty...
twinkle twinkle
little star
how i wonder....
not associating with fools,
associating with the wise,
honoring those worthy of honor;
this is the greatest blessing.
~ mangala sutta
be aware of these four good-hearted friends:
the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad,
the mentor, and the compassionate friend.
the helper can be identified by four things:
by protecting you when you are vulnerable,
and likewise your wealth,
being a refuge when you are afraid,
and in various tasks providing double what is requested.
the enduring friend can be identified by four things:
by telling you secrets, guarding your own secrets closely,
not abandoning you in misfortune, and even dying for you.
the mentor can be identified by four things:
by restraining you from wrongdoing,
guiding you towards good actions,
telling you what you ought to know,
and showing you the path to lasting happiness.
the compassionate friend can be identified by four things:
by not rejoicing in your misfortune,
delighting in your good fortune,
preventing others from speaking ill of you,
and encouraging others who praise your good qualities.
~ that is what the buddha said....
up above the world so high,
like a diamond in the sky,
twinkle twinkle, little star,
how i wonder what you are....
