noble friendship

 

noble friendship is the whole of holy life

i was given a card i had sent to my dear 

and o so loving friend, nancy jean..

some 8 plus years ago..

it was a picture of a ginger cat, a kitten, really..

and a dog, maybe a jack russell..

dressed in black leather biking jackets

chains and all..

earnestly looking at the photographer ~

(probably wondering, 

what the farnbag are we doing here

and why are we dressed like this?)

on the inside, it read :

you and i are more than friends.

we're like a really small gang.

nancy jean stark died on september 23rd..

on her daughter's birthday and 

on pablo neruda's death day..

well chosen..

when a death arrives on such sacramental days

it is considered quite auspicious and a blessing..

the death day is thereafter noted as an anniversary ~

my mother, who was the hostess with the mostess

at her home, the nantucket inn, in anacortes,

was the first to meet nancy and her family..

they chose to stay at the inn

while looking the towne over 

to buy a home and settle down..

as i was gallivanting about between india 

and los angeles..sallie was cultivating

a sweet and long-lasting friendship

with nancy et al..

she would make mention of this darling family

often with many a remark..

... you will really enjoy meeting nancy..

and she was most certainly right..

after i arrived home 

to open my first yoga studio above 

what is now  cafe adrift..

we immediately started hanging 

and brainstorming and walking 

and conjuring ~

we created the gypsy basket_

a trunk show of sorts, held monthly 

at the nantucket..scarves and papers, 

holy molies, cards and objets d'art..

i recall we even had a fashion show!

when i turned 33 i decided to walk 33 miles

and then get on a plane for india..

baaaad idea!

nancy drove along the hi way with her kids in tow,

supporting a dozen or so  yoga practitioners 

as we walked to a dear olde friend's house 

on mccorquedale road..where we drank beer 

then turned around and headed back home..

baaaad idea!

after that, nancy and i became hoofers

all over fidalgo island ..

we might be gone an entire day ~

over the river and through the woods..

she shared with me the stations of the cross,

being a good catholic girl, 

which we summoned in the forest lands

around cap sante and washington park

on numerous easter sundays..

we made it through 4 husbands together ..

two each..with one more before we met..

a half a dozen marriages..between us..

(although i like to say, 

never married but divorced 3 times..)

i was cured after 3 

 ~ it is a charm, you know ~

yet i do believe nancy would have jumped 

into the wedding ring yet again..

such was her faith in true love ..

as i wrote in the opening of her book

letters to my children ~

...we have walked through marriages and divorces, 

a few firey affairs and been left in the ashes 

only the great birds fly out of...

how many friday night movie nights

have we sat through..and bowls of popcorn?

thank you, jovan!

how many poems have we read together

sprawled out on her bed while resting?

how many crossword puzzles

have we barely completed ?

~ to stretch our minds and keep us nimble!

how many double batches of biskutina have we made 

the week before thanksgiving..?

taking up 2 days of gathering and baking..

giving all mine away and coming to her house to eat some...

no wonder her kids always hid the cookie jar from me!

our really small gang theme song was:

ne me quitte pas - by the great jacques brel

translated as ~

don't quit me

we didn't, we haven't, we won't..

we have a sister code that

we will use to recognize one another

in our next lives,

or at the right hand of god, 

or wherever we may land 

through the veil

on the other side

in the great empty...

twinkle twinkle 

little star 

how i wonder....

not associating with fools,

associating with the wise,

honoring those worthy of honor;

this is the greatest blessing.

~ mangala sutta 

be aware of these four good-hearted friends: 

the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad, 

the mentor, and the compassionate friend.

the helper can be identified by four things: 

by protecting you when you are vulnerable, 

and likewise your wealth, 

being a refuge when you are afraid, 

and in various tasks providing double what is requested.

the enduring friend can be identified by four things: 

by telling you secrets, guarding your own secrets closely, 

not abandoning you in misfortune, and even dying for you.

the mentor can be identified by four things: 

by restraining you from wrongdoing, 

guiding you towards good actions, 

telling you what you ought to know, 

and showing you the path to lasting happiness.

the compassionate friend can be identified by four things: 

by not rejoicing in your misfortune, 

delighting in your good fortune, 

preventing others from speaking ill of you,

and encouraging others who praise your good qualities.

                                           ~ that is what the buddha said....

up above the world so high,

like a diamond in the sky,

twinkle twinkle, little star,

how i wonder what you are....