Sunday, October 22, 2017

coming to our feet

my alarm clock is no clock at all..
it is a coming-to to consciousness ..
finding thought wide awake..

this morning was no exception ..
already deciding to re-write a letter to a friend..
refraining from sending a welcome home pamphlet to another,
mouth-watering about the waffles i will make,
wriggling my feet, legs, hips, shoulders
to see where pain was stuck..
which tea i will be brewing..
all in a few ring-a-lings of the inner sanctum alarm..

the first moments of coming to my feet
always take me out-of-doors..
a balmy pristine 3:45 AM..
the stars - still up and out..
dazzling the dark..
i imagined their alarm clocks..
ready to tuck in as daybreak stretched the light..

after prayers.. be they a bit weak this day..
chai and sitting.. mat time
waffles browning .. sweetening the cozy .
munch time..

i was summoned out-of doors yet again..
skyward gazing brought into focus
a smitter of large dark birds..5 at the most..
what are these flight-lovers?
for one could see ..
even from the dusk and distance
how much they were enjoying the winds
the currents..
all of a sudden..
there were a dozen..
then ..
a dozen more..
grabbing the binocs..
chequeing the tail feathers..
a few ravens in the murder..
more and more joined the circling..
higher, wider, exultant..
dozens twice and thrice..
the luster of the new day
a glowing backdrop for the
coterie of feathered flyers..

just then..
just now..
the hummers started to chum their way to the feeders
as is their morning ritual of nectar gathering and camaraderie..

this very day was close, so close
heading in the direction of self-pity..
you know..that stake to the heart..
when i was uplifted
out of the self that clings to a self..
all medicine wants is pain to cure..
what a whopper of a dropper full i received..
coming to my feet..

Friday, October 20, 2017

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

not your average poster child for yoga

the very purpose of existence
is to reconcile
the glowing opinion 
we hold of ourselves
with the appalling things 
other people think about us.
         ~ quentin crisp

Sunday, October 15, 2017

how could this happen to you?

this seems to be the question of the day..
the answer..see below...*

over the last 17 years i have carried
this prayer in my vest pocket ~
barely readable and rumbled
here is what is written..

o holy compassionate guru
please grant me blessings to be able 
to take all the karmic debt, obstacles 
and sufferings of other beings 
without exception upon myself
and to dedicate my own body
and merit to them.
thus may i lead all beings to bliss.

i confess though i haven't been bringing
it forward all of these 17 years,
it has been working me..

and from my morning prayers ..

like the earth, water, wind and fire,
medicinal herbs, & the trees of the wilderness,
may i always be made use of freely
by all beings just as they wish.

may i be beloved of beings, and may they
be more beloved to me than myself.
may i bear the results of all their negativity,
and may they have the results of all my virtue.

i'd like to think my practices could
be that powerful yet i know i don't carry
that kind of wisdom, purity and compassion..
not yet..anyway..

my right hip is worn out..
turned to dust, it seems..
could be genetics..
could be -
see 9/19 post
what would i give back?

* most likely it is all my ancient, twisted karma
from beginningless greed, anger and folly
born thru my body, speech and mind..

Friday, October 6, 2017


there is a feeling ..
deep in the marrow..
when a gander of geese fly
directly over my head..
somehow the whiffle of their wings
take flight in my heart..
the center of my chest..
i hold my breath so not to miss a beat
of their journey above me..

is it a sadness or is it a longing..?
for the travel they have undertaken..
from deep intuition..profound instinct..
that carries them hither to thither
without skipping a beat -
a part of me goes missing
in exhilaration for the enskyment
they partake in this season
the hunter's moon looks on in fullness..
you go! she seems to say..

an accord..a harmony
descends thru the grey
that melancholy supposedly brings..
as an irish lass..
that melancholy is the harmony..
that longing is the contentment ..
how does this happen?

bullets shatter the glitter of las vegas..
it is inconceivable to envision such violence
within the golden peace of our valley..
yet it dashes the calm, slashes the serenity ..
do the geese feel this wobble in the force?
do the hummingbirds snestling on the feeder receive the shock?

how to marry these two in the oneness?
how to yoke the dark - the light
in a mandala of wholeness..?
i must own the full spectrum
as this morning sky of pale blood
imbues the almost frost of new mown grass..
i am the killer
i am the killed
i am the geese
the nectar in the bowl

heal me may i heal you
embracing the sorrow
being the remedy
only then are we free

Saturday, September 23, 2017

fall yoga classes in the wind of time

fall wind
pods of summer crowd around the door;
i take them in the autumn of my hands.

last night i heard the first cold wind outside;
the wind blew soft, and yet i shiver twice:

once for the thin walls, once for the sound of time.
                        ~ william stafford

ah! the zepher..
whistling the vayu breath practiced faithfully
dispersing the clouds of conceptual thought
a sea change .. at my back..
transporting me beyond all knowing ~
trusting the challenge..
following the wind..
to the next great adventure of mystery & grace..

septembre 11th i wrote this letter..
by the 15th, i had my answers..
& pulled the rug out from under myself
and the precious practitioners of room 34..
here is the letter..

dearest yoginis  ~ kit, jeri & susan..
   it is said in the buddhist tradition that the highest and best form of generosity is the gift of dharma..i sing your praises & i thank you, sincerely, as each of you bring forward the teachings of patanjali & others from the wisdom traditions - through the practice of yogadharma..
on  & off the mat.. on & off the cushion..
   i would like to think.. if i may.... in the most humble way.. i might have had a wee hand in offering each of you a gift of dharma that inspired you to become active guides & teachers on the path..
   my karma has ripened in the most breath-taking ways as i come to face a back that is mostly broken & degenerating.. a hip that will need replacing most likely..  & much refined renewing of cells and ligaments.. nerve regeneration & rejuvenation..
   it may well come to pass that my teaching days are numbered until all these distractions are tended to.. i wonder if you might consider & be willing to  accept the practitioners who have a series with me by redeeming their classes within your classes should they choose to clear the books.. as a kindness to your olde and crumbling teacher..
   it would bring much relief - financially & otherwise - knowing that i (we) have maintained the integrity of the dharma by the giving and receiving of goods.. what could be more good that the practice of breath, stretch, stillness and wisdom ?
   another perfect gift of generosity is the gift of fearlessness..
during this time i am traveling to and fro along that fearful highway ~
doing my best to bring the practice to every aspect of accepting & letting go..polishing my detachment of the kosha of form, un-winding my dismay at the plate set before me, freeing the dread that rises up to meet me daily..
   if you choose to accept this opportunity, it would bring me closer to that fearlessness i am doing my best to befriend..
   i admire each of you, bowing to your love of the practice & your presence in my life & the lives of all on the planet & beyond!
palms folded to my heart -
septembre 11 - 2017

each of these exceptional teachers has generously accepted
this request, welcoming any and all practitioners
to their classes as a gift, a kindness, an offering
in the tradition of bowing to a teacher..
a spiritual friend on the path..
honoring noble friendship..

if you have a series you would like to finish up
with one of these lovelies ~ do let me know
which teacher/class you will be attending
& all will be settled in the blink of a breath..

MONDAY, THE 25, @ 5:30 PM
FRIDAY, THE 29TH @ 9:30 AM

jeri lancaster teaches 7 PM wednesday evenings 
at the happiness center..the ballroom..anacortes..
360 299 2519

kit muehlman teaches 8 AM tuesday mornings
( this class has a 30 minute meditation tacked on
for $1 if you choose to stay )
at maple hall in laconner
360 630 4152

susan schanen teaches 9:30 AM wednesday mornings
( this class has a 30 minute sitting meditation tacked on
@ 11:15 no charge..should you be so inclined!)
at crescent moon yoga in laconner
360 941 1975

if i ever die, i'd like it to be
in the evening.  that way, i'll have
all the dark to go with me, and no one
will see how i begin to hobble along.
                 ~ stafford...again

if you wonder..
how this could happen to me..
please scroll down to the september 19 post
what would i give back?

Thursday, September 21, 2017

together for peace

international day of peace
 together for peace..

respect, safety & dignity for all ~

to bring peace, be peace..

each of us can transform another
by our own respect for life
by our own sincere wish to bring happiness
        (be happiness)
to those around us..

there is a saying in india..
be happy for someone else's sake
( if you cannot be happy for your own!)

be peace..for someone else's sake..

it is healthy, you know...
for children and other (all) living things ~

shanti, shanti, shanti ~