grudge grinch

purge out of every heart the lurking grudge.

give us grace and strength to forbear and to persevere.

give us the grace to accept and forgive offenders.

forgetful ourselves, help us to bear cheerfully the forgetfulness of others.

give us courage and gaiety and the quiet mind.

spare us to our friends, soften to us our enemies.

                         ~  robert louis stevenson

my mama had this in our house..tucked away in a desk drawer..

where lots of interesting and colorful notes, quotes and missives

were snestled..along with important papers, un-noteworthy bits and scribbles..

it was always a meritorious rustle when i was granted permission

to enter into the innermost jumble of her secretary...

now it is amongst my jumbled collection

and i pull it out often to re-read or post and share ..

grudge partners well with forgiveness..as RLS petitions -

which is an every day, maybe an every hour assignment

for one thing or another..

whether it is forgiving the teacup for her topsy-turviness

or a friend who voted for the other guy

or my laziness or foot-in-mouthedness..

( life is very short.. but it is wide, i have heard )

my letting go must be that empty harbor

where no grudgeboats can dock and rest at sea..

where there is loyalty to all humanoids for being just that..

(the one thing i don't like about being human.. is.. being human... )

at this beginning of the new year 2021,

may the true debt jubilee be to forgive those

who we think have caused us harm..

*oh, the thinks you can 

think up if you only try!

forgive ourselves for being a self and claiming hurt..

perceived or true.. 

for declaring the self as a target..

forgive the grudge grinch within us!

lift up the self by the Self

and don't let the self droop down,

for the Self is the self's only friend

and the self is the Self's only foe.

            ~  bhagavad gita  chapter 6, verse 5

there was a headline in the washington post:

march 21, 2020..

a debt jubilee is the only way to avoid a depression

ha! indeed..

to be free of depression we must unhinge our grudges

and set them sailing..

let them float away in the great ocean's vastness

evanescing into emptiness..

(don't you love the word evanesce?)

the art of forgiveness is a life skill.. yes?

like the art of happiness..

skillful means to perpetuate a life of open-heartedness

if i can liberate my grudges, i can liberate the self to the Self ~

the back of my hand to you, insults, injuries, self-importance, grudges!

in the buddhist tradition there are three dharma seals..

impermanence, no-self and nirvāna

nirvāna = sanskrit = to extinguish = to blow out..

whoooh! gone, gone, gone beyond..

impermanance!

no-self!

these are my skillful means 

to open the doors, 

windows, 

pathways of the heart/mind..

forgiveness rides on the coattails of these three golden keys..

or.. vice versa ~

i make a plea to all i have unknowingly 

(for it is unknowingly)

harmed, hurt or misled..

been selfish and stupid and unkindly.. 

...like a bird on a wire,  

like a drunk in a midnight choir

i have tried in my way to be free.

if i have been unkind

i hope you can just let it go by

if i have been untrue

i hope you know it was never to you...

                               ~ leonard cohen

                    

* most ginormous gratitude to dr. seuss

for the grinch! and so much more....

'twas...

'twas the day before christmas and all through the shala -  not a creature was stirring, not even a koala

the straps were all hung on the hooks with great care -  in hopes that the guru would offer a prayer 

the yogis were snestled so sweet on their mats, while ganesha and krishna danced 'round their hats

shakti-ma in her sari, shivam in his dreads - settling their chakras, readying their beds

when out in the valley there rose such a clatter, they jumped out of savasan to see what was the matter

the chandra reflected on new fallen snow -  gave a shimmer, a dazzle to the objects below

when whoa! what the farnbang? to their eyes did appear - a wee golden chariot and 6 tiny reindeer

with a powerful driver so bold and so bright - it's hanuman! the monkey! so brave and so light

more rapid than garudā, his coursers they came - he whistled and shouted and called them by name

now ustrā, now bakā, adho mukha svānāsan - on vīrabhadrā, gomukhā and matsyendrāsan

to the top of tadāsana, to the top of the wall - now dash away, dash away, dash away all ~

he was dressed all in fur from his head to his tail - he twinkled, he chuckled, he jumped without fail

he spoke not a word and went straight to his stocks - stacking the blankets and stashing the blocks

then folding his palms right up to his heart - he gave a quick nod, and rose with a start

he sprang to his sleigh, gave his sangha a whistle - away they all flew, like a NASA space missile

we then heard him chanting as he drove away - om gaté gaté ~ om namaste!

SOLSTICE BLESSINGS BRILLIANT AND BRIGHT

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL  ~ AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT !

 

patience

 

patience is the art of concealing your impatience.

                 ~  guy kawasaki

there are three things that cause me great consternation..

as far as my patience is concerned..

or rather my lack of patience 

or my failure at concealing impatience..

vacumn cleaner cords..

or cords of any kind, actually..

garden hoses,

and hangers.. all and every kind of hanger..

these all seem to get caught up within themselves

or other ends of themselves or others of like mind and shape..

i am shown in no uncertain terms the ignobility of my impatience..

my language becomes garbled, my face contorts into a mass of wrinkles, 

my voice raises 3 octaves, and my entire mellow nature melts into aaarrrrgh..

that is to say, it used to..

i have trained my shabby impatience to rise up! to rise up to higher ground..

now, when i encounter the encounters

of cords, hoses, and hangers..

i speak in honeyed tones and storytime intimacy...

as such :

ah! dearest hanger of the clan of hangers-on..

where are you running off to..

with your brothers and sisters in tow?

please come back to the fold..

please join in the queue..

or

of course, dear vacumn cord of wandering caught up ways..

let's get your legless thread out from under the chair, desk, bedstead

and find the clear path to cleanliness..

or

gardening hose of gathering water..

why tie yourself in knots over the flow of the universe?

let me unkink your body and mind so you are able

to pour forth freely

your wisdom and fresh wet essence..

these wee fairytales change my tight-talking mind 

into a humorous fable of spacious cascading lucidity..

and.. my dialogue is..ha! ha! so amusing to my very own self, 

that i end in laughter..

now though, there is another impatience..

the impatience of wanting things to be other than they are..

really?

why would i want that?

well......

because...

i would o so like to travel the highways and byways..

the airways and seawaves

my nomadic propensity is up in arms..

akimbo and askew..

even from the simplest,

the most realistic point of view,

the countries which we long for

occupy a far larger place 

in our actual life

than the country

in which we happen to be...

              marcel proust / swain's way

quite honestly, there is no where else to go..

this very land is the lotus land of purity..

this very body is the body of the buddha..

a whiplash of awakening and i see my faulty view..

until my longing (impatience) sets in yet again 

and i imagine a scene from the himalayas..

the coastline of crete,

the soup and ice cream of istanbul,

the monastery in upstate new york..

it's all in the mind

imagining is like feeling around

in a dark lane, or washing

your eyes with blood. 

you are the truth

from foot to brow. now, 

what else would you like to know?

                  ~ rumi

where else would you rather be?

okay already..

here now 

just this

as it is.. 

is now..

as it was in the beginning

now and ever shall be ~

the snare of gratitude

 

there have been o so many people in my life 

who have been kind, generous, 

willing to come to my aid on my way to ..

wherever..

here, now..

'tis a practice of mr. rogers, isn't it..

to take ....  what? 5 minutes 

to recall a face, an action

holding them with your inner vision..

your heart/mind ~

to recollect the kindness that slid you 

to the next move on your chessboard of life.

after watching the queen's gambit..

(i think i qualify as a binger of the series..)

i was touched by the many who uplifted 

the young protaganist along her way..

magnanimously.. 

(from the latin.. magnus animus - great soul)

afterwards, i sat for a time reminiscing

the faces, the places, the benevolence

showered upon me throughout my life..

what a worthy practice !

most thanksgivings i share this poem by rumi..

and here we go again:

giving thanks for abundance 

is sweeter than the abundance itself:

thankfulness is the soul of beneficence,

abundance is but the husk,

for thankfulness brings you

to the place where the Beloved lives.

abundance yields heedlessness;

thankfulness, alertness:

hunt for bounty with the snare of gratitude...

                               thankfulness, alertness

                                     translated by kabir helminski

                                         edited a wee bit by djl

sitting quietly with the countless souls

who have traversed this splendid life

with me, 

who guided me, 

led the way, 

paved my streets with gold, 

held me back, 

pushed me onward..

~ nothing to do 

but bow my head 

~ tasting the saltysweet 

honeyed tears 

of thankfulness..

 

....should one who is absorbed with the 

Generous One

be distracted by the gift?

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

timely rain

 

from chögyam trungpa ~

in the jungles of flaming ego,

may there be a cool iceberg of bodhicitta.

on the racetrack of bureaucracy,

may there be the walk of the elephant.

may the sumptuous castle of arrogance

be destroyed by vajra confidence.

in the garden of gentle sanity,

may you be bombarded by coconuts of wakefulness.

it's very wet..squally..sopping..

the hummingbirds are gathering in droves 

for the sweet ambrosia i concoct..

one such bird is holding hostage

a feeder all to him/herself..

the others are joined two by twos 

to  snuggle up and share the nectar ..

as many as a dozen to a feeder..

community..not two..generosity..

as i stir each batch of sugar water

i chant the heart sutra mantra..

or the gayatri or om mani padme hum..

it seems i have a non-bodhisattva in the tribe !

it is said that generosity is the gateway to the bodhisattva path..

(no wonder the second phrase above the gateway to the

temple at delphi was: nothing in excess)

the giving practice is the practice of letting go..

letting go of narrow views, of concepts of small, tight and lack..

letting go of ownership, close-fistedness, insufficiency  ~

i must stir up my next quantity of nektar with "enough" mindfulness..

(recalling a bumper sticker - if you had enough would you recognize it)

a friend shared that she had offered some money to a  homeless fellow 

outside a coffee shoppe..and he said.. o, no thank you, i really have enough..

as i cultivate generosity in my own nature, all else follows generously..

i experience this as so!

next time i will whisk in the circle of offering ~ ampleness and plenty ~

then the dear renegade hummer will feel contentment..

igniting the wake-up mind of his/her own wide wingspan to gifting..

nurturing billions of brother and sister hummingbirds

with the syrup of bounteousness!

HA! MAY IT BE JUST SO!

 

from *81 - daode jing 

......  the sage avoids accumulation--

the more (s)he works for others, the more (s)he has;

the more (s)he gives to others, the more (s)he gains.

the way of the heavens is to benefit, not to injure.

the way of the sages is to act, not to compete.

                      ~ translated by louis komjathy

not two..

 

JFK's planned speech for austin, texas  ~ 

evening of november 22  ~ 1969

... this country is moving and it must not stop. it cannot stop. 

this is a time for courage and a time for challenge.

neither conformity nor complacency will do.

neither the fanatics nor the faint-hearted are needed. 

our duty as a party is not to our party alone, 

but to the nation, and, indeed, to all humankind.

our duty is not merely the preservation of political power 

but the preservation of peace and freedom.

so let us not be petty when our cause is so great.

let us not quarrel amongst ourselves when our nation's

future is at stake.  let us stand together with renewed 

confidence in our cause....

determined that this land we love shall lead all humankind 

into new frontiers of peace and abundance.

PLEASE VOTE!

david spangler

if we fear each other, it may be because in some way, 

we fear ourselves. let's change that.

let's trust our goodness

and help others do the same.

there is no reason the winner of our election 

in this country has to be fear and anger.

we can decide otherwise.

whoever holds the office of presidency

the offices of senator or representative,

we hold the country.

we hold the country in our hearts, in our choices,

in our actions, and in our behavior towards one another.

in the days and months ahead, 

let's ensure that the winner is the best in us.

PLEASE VOTE!

you (bodhisattva) and wisdom (prajña)

are essentially the same,

like pearls rolling on a tray,

light, random, uninhibited .

                        ~ hakuin zenji

in this not two nothing is separate,

nothing is excluded.

                   ~ hsin shin ming

i confess..there was a time when i didn't vote..

it was after nixon won a second round...

by a landslide..1972...

george mcgovern, my vote..

gone, gone, gone....

it was years before i got my head and heart on straight ..

the vote, our vote, my vote..is one of the most effective

ways to wrestle with the snake of politics..

if i seem to take part in politics, 

it is only because politics encircles us today

like the coil of a snake from which one cannot get out,

no matter how much one tries.

i wish therefore to wrestle with the snake..

                 ~ mahatma gandhi

noble friendship

 

noble friendship is the whole of holy life

i was given a card i had sent to my dear 

and o so loving friend, nancy jean..

some 8 plus years ago..

it was a picture of a ginger cat, a kitten, really..

and a dog, maybe a jack russell..

dressed in black leather biking jackets

chains and all..

earnestly looking at the photographer ~

(probably wondering, 

what the farnbag are we doing here

and why are we dressed like this?)

on the inside, it read :

you and i are more than friends.

we're like a really small gang.

nancy jean stark died on september 23rd..

on her daughter's birthday and 

on pablo neruda's death day..

well chosen..

when a death arrives on such sacramental days

it is considered quite auspicious and a blessing..

the death day is thereafter noted as an anniversary ~

my mother, who was the hostess with the mostess

at her home, the nantucket inn, in anacortes,

was the first to meet nancy and her family..

they chose to stay at the inn

while looking the towne over 

to buy a home and settle down..

as i was gallivanting about between india 

and los angeles..sallie was cultivating

a sweet and long-lasting friendship

with nancy et al..

she would make mention of this darling family

often with many a remark..

... you will really enjoy meeting nancy..

and she was most certainly right..

after i arrived home 

to open my first yoga studio above 

what is now  cafe adrift..

we immediately started hanging 

and brainstorming and walking 

and conjuring ~

we created the gypsy basket_

a trunk show of sorts, held monthly 

at the nantucket..scarves and papers, 

holy molies, cards and objets d'art..

i recall we even had a fashion show!

when i turned 33 i decided to walk 33 miles

and then get on a plane for india..

baaaad idea!

nancy drove along the hi way with her kids in tow,

supporting a dozen or so  yoga practitioners 

as we walked to a dear olde friend's house 

on mccorquedale road..where we drank beer 

then turned around and headed back home..

baaaad idea!

after that, nancy and i became hoofers

all over fidalgo island ..

we might be gone an entire day ~

over the river and through the woods..

she shared with me the stations of the cross,

being a good catholic girl, 

which we summoned in the forest lands

around cap sante and washington park

on numerous easter sundays..

we made it through 4 husbands together ..

two each..with one more before we met..

a half a dozen marriages..between us..

(although i like to say, 

never married but divorced 3 times..)

i was cured after 3 

 ~ it is a charm, you know ~

yet i do believe nancy would have jumped 

into the wedding ring yet again..

such was her faith in true love ..

as i wrote in the opening of her book

letters to my children ~

...we have walked through marriages and divorces, 

a few firey affairs and been left in the ashes 

only the great birds fly out of...

how many friday night movie nights

have we sat through..and bowls of popcorn?

thank you, jovan!

how many poems have we read together

sprawled out on her bed while resting?

how many crossword puzzles

have we barely completed ?

~ to stretch our minds and keep us nimble!

how many double batches of biskutina have we made 

the week before thanksgiving..?

taking up 2 days of gathering and baking..

giving all mine away and coming to her house to eat some...

no wonder her kids always hid the cookie jar from me!

our really small gang theme song was:

ne me quitte pas - by the great jacques brel

translated as ~

don't quit me

we didn't, we haven't, we won't..

we have a sister code that

we will use to recognize one another

in our next lives,

or at the right hand of god, 

or wherever we may land 

through the veil

on the other side

in the great empty...

twinkle twinkle 

little star 

how i wonder....

not associating with fools,

associating with the wise,

honoring those worthy of honor;

this is the greatest blessing.

~ mangala sutta 

be aware of these four good-hearted friends: 

the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad, 

the mentor, and the compassionate friend.

the helper can be identified by four things: 

by protecting you when you are vulnerable, 

and likewise your wealth, 

being a refuge when you are afraid, 

and in various tasks providing double what is requested.

the enduring friend can be identified by four things: 

by telling you secrets, guarding your own secrets closely, 

not abandoning you in misfortune, and even dying for you.

the mentor can be identified by four things: 

by restraining you from wrongdoing, 

guiding you towards good actions, 

telling you what you ought to know, 

and showing you the path to lasting happiness.

the compassionate friend can be identified by four things: 

by not rejoicing in your misfortune, 

delighting in your good fortune, 

preventing others from speaking ill of you,

and encouraging others who praise your good qualities.

                                           ~ that is what the buddha said....

up above the world so high,

like a diamond in the sky,

twinkle twinkle, little star,

how i wonder what you are....