tussle

my sis and i got into a tussle..
not unusual for siblings..
this was not the biting, scratching, hitting kind..
we did not bonk each other on the head
with our dolls or books..
our tussle was the tussle of words..

stinging our four ears
suddenly saddening our hearts
pinpricks afflicted without mindful consideration..
our tussle was a tussle of points of view,
of opinions for and against..
and as we parted, they hung heavy
in the "brightening air"
i, for one,  slept on barbs
trying my best to get comfortable
with my own voice..

the next morning i received this in a  newsletter from
https://8limbsyoga.com

W. A. I. T.  Why Am I Talking?

It asks us to check our assumptions and motivations before we open our mouths. It requires us to honor the humanity of those with whom we're in conversation with - to be honest, humble and compassionate.

Is what we have to say actually in service to the greater good?
Below are four questions, known in Buddhism as the Four Gates
of Speech. These questions can help us wait before speaking to help foster understanding and connection.

1) Is it true?
Determining truth is more than ensuring a lack of outright deceit. It involves releasing narratives, filters, biases and evaluations. We're asked to observe what actually has transpired, watching out for conditioned tendencies.

2) Is it necessary?
Is it useful? Will voicing it, in Gandhi's words, "improve upon silence?"This question can help us keep our ego in check. We're invited to keep the big picture in mind - to distinguish between our capacity to add more detail, to correct, object... in the moment from what will lend to the most good in the long run.

3) Is it kind?
Similar to the concept of ahimsa in yoga, this question highlights the importance of doing no harm. Will sharing further connections with others? Will everyone's dignity be upheld? We're asked to do our due diligence in proceeding with care and compassion.

4) Is now the right time to say it?
On a practical level this can look like making sure folks have the time and are in a good place to digest what we have to say. This can also look like checking to see if we're really the ones who should be taking up air time in the moment. Are there other voices that deserve to be heard? It can also be useful to consider if actively listening would be more beneficial.

holy mackerel! - did it resonate..
sharing this w/ my sis ~
we discovered our great and mighty ability
to blurt without alert..
making promises to one another that
..in the future..
we would hold or bite our tongues
(ouch!)
of course, also knowing without a doubt..
we would find ourselves in another tussle down the road..
after all, what are sisters for?

pulling out william stafford's
the way it is
for a wee bit of solace
i opened straight away to next time 
and heard him say ...plain as day ~
here you go, darlin'..

next time
next time what i'd do is look at
the earth before saying anything. i'd stop
just before going into a house
and be an emperor for a minute
and listen better to the wind
      or to the air being still.

when anyone talked to me, whether
blame or praise or just passing time,
i'd watch the face, how the mouth
had to work, and see any strain, any
sign of what lifted the voice.

and for all, i'd know more -- the earth 
bracing itself and soaring, the air
finding every leaf and feather over 
forest and water, and for every person
the body glowing inside the clothes
like a light.


sharing all this with the yoginis of thursday morn -
after a full, fine practice of ujjayi breath
to make clean and clear our throat chakras,
airing out our heart chakras ~
this beauty from yet another wise website
http://www.turtlehavensanctuary.com
placed in the ring of the palm..
gracing the open waiting heart..

Clearing
by Martha Postlethwaite

Do not try to serve
the whole world
or do anything grandiose. 
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is yours alone to sing
falls into your open cupped hands 
and you recognize and greet it. 
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to the world 
so worthy of rescue.


shhhhhh..
the world is listening for our silence..