what would i give back?

is there something i might regret..?

my spine is the scripture of all my actions ~

a brushstroke missing the paper..
a train off its track..
the ill fitting shoe..
a bad hair day all the way
to the middle of next lifetime..
a bald tyre
the soldier missing in action
a rice sack ransacked

the very long stroll to california
slipstreaming the crash to the boulders below
thunderstorms striking the lost chord
tap dancing the waltz on cement
much whiskey dank days the burren
bushels of burdensome guilt
sitting stitching for hours
quilting with salliema
dogs running, chasing, biting

lifting, shifting everything up to the sun..
moving the bed from the garage
to the garage and back to the garage
again, and again, and again..

changing flat tires, changing the oil..
driving the coast up and back by the trillions
slipping on ice thrice..
flipping my tricycle and bicycle
dumping the kawasaki on my bones more than once
losing a friend in a maze of malignancy
climbing the holy mountain to hang prayer flags
flagging down trucks to take me to persia
making love in those most bizarre places
running halfway in the marathon twice
caught in the shower by interpole lopers

stepping off the 7th rung of that ladder to concrete
landing belly up on a fire hydrant - a flip that flopped
spilling over the bannister to the deep cement stairwell
falling out of how many trees i've attempted to climb?
hitch-hiking across india, pakistan, afghanistan..
iran, turkey, syria with a backpack twice as big as myself..
(those were the days, my friend)

runway modeling striking outlandish poses
gymnastic training for the iron cross
lifetimes of backbends
falling out of handless headstands
forwards bends with friends pounced atop
twisting the topsy-turvy inversions..
sitting sitting endless days in the monastery

hugging the wind that took me to sea
losing my way on the road to shambhala
where will this list end..?

as a bodhisattva in training..
one trusts without doubt..
trusting this life, this bonebag, this rachis demise..
with look no hands to ride the cycle..
may i bow the deep bow ~
may i chant the deep prayer..

all that i am afraid to lose
i offer up without any
sense of loss..

je ne regrette rien