8 - 10 - 12

march 8 ~ 

sallie's death day..
'tis 7 years  since my mama's passing -
every single day not a wee moment goes by
without her gracious presence adorning my life..

all i am or ever hope to be,
i owe to my darling mother..
        ~ abe lincoln

alone again,
i will go on with my head bent down ~
knowing that love has become eternal
and on the long and difficult road,
the light of the sun and the moon
is still there to guide my way...
           ~thich nhat hanh

in the end, all you want 
is someone to long for you
when it comes time
to put you in the ground..
               ~ tea obreht - the tiger's wife

who would say the heart of a tiny blade of grass
could repay the sun for all the warmth of spring?
                  ~ meng chiao

march 10 ~

peace walk...
10 years it has been since i stepped out
to walk to california for peace and love..
o how i wanted to step by step traverse the
american soil..all the way across..
for the open hearted freedom of peace ..
the peace that passeth all understanding...

walking 107 to join scenic 101 
along the chehalis river 
put me on the edge
with many a lumber truck..
trucks/trees going forward
trees/trucks going back!

..i composed.. 
a walking tree song
which i sung to the hillsides 
that were shaved off and logged..
the land IS being re-forested
yet it looks/feels a bit of a mess..
there is an emptiness 
somewhere in my mid-heaven!

for earth day..22nd april..
it actually has a bit more bark to it
when one foot goes in front of the other..

o you trees; trees without trees..
o you trees; birds without trees..
o you trees; squirrels without trees..
o you trees; 'coons without trees..
o you trees; deer without trees..
o you trees; cougar without trees..
o you trees; elk without trees..
o you trees; fox without trees..
o you trees; cats without trees..
o you trees; humans without trees..
o you trees; trucks without trees..
o you trees; trees without trees..

it does get one down the road..
chanting as i walk..the river beside me..
sun and breeze..robin hopping in front to the tune..
quince blooming..strong smell of cedar.

always like to look back to the present moment..
remembering the expanse
of the explosion and implosion of my heart..
it was the time of my life..
yet..
i could go no further than i went..

we may become aware
that worldly concerns and distractions
keep us trapped in samsara -
we may feel an intense desire to be liberated from it...
then we find ourselves at the meeting point of two paths:
one leads to liberation,
and the other to the lesser destinies...
   ~dilgo khyentse rinpoche

SOLVITUR AMBULANDO
it is solved by walking
 ~ st. augustine

march 12 ~

buddha's day of miracles....
also known as chotul duchen ..

the story goes that many moons ago..
in the land of great compassion..
6 esteemed hindu sages  challenged
the buddha to a miracle duel..
or rather, a miracle sextet!

though the buddha was a humble
teacher of simplicity and austerity..
he thought it might be a good idea to let
a few miracles fly..to inspire, encourage and awaken
the great many that had arrived on the scene..
so indeed ..he let miracle after miracle..
fly, fly away..
and lo! he hit the jackpot..

it is said that the karmic affect of positive actions
are multiplied 100 million times on this most auspicious day!

do not run around after fame and gain
in the realm of sound and form.
not to run around is the continuous practice that 
has been transmitted person to person
by buddha ancestors.
mature hermits, beginning hermits, 
one person or half a person, 
i ask you to throw away myriad matters and conditions
and continuously practice the continuous practice of buddha ancestors.

continuous practice, day after day,
is the most appropriate way of expressing gratitude.
            ~ dogen zenji

much obliged i am ..
for mothers & movement & miracles...

3 sisters ..corn, beans & squash ~

respect one another,
support one another,
bring your gift to the world
&
receive the gifts of others,
and there will be enough for all...
                 ~ braiding sweetgrass

there are three gifts that the buddhist community recognizes ~
the gift of the material..
money, goods, etc..
the gift of the dharma...
the living, breathing, momentary truth
of the way things are..
the gift of fearlessness..
freeing another/protecting another
from lack of self-confidence,
bringing forward safety..

in a dialogue with a student and fellow yoga teacher..
she brought up her lack of confidence as a teacher,
though she was honored by many students,
by a company that had made her an ambassador,
& the recipient of many gifts to illustrate the forte
in her metier..

HHDL gave a teaching about cultivating self-confidence..
if we indeed embodied it, he offered, we would suffer no more..

really?

lack of confidence..diffidence..
is actually the ego knocking at the backdoor..
that's interesting!

what if:
we respected one another
supported one another,
brought forth our gifts
& graciously received the gifts of another..
where would lack of confidence fit in?

lack of confidence is known
for it's comparing, competitive spirit..
not as good as, different from, must be better than..

this all comes from the scarcity of not being enough..
simply by being who we are..

makes sense..
i go through snippets of dissing myself very whole-heartedly..
who the farnbang do i think i am..
teaching someone, anyone,  anything?

that comes from my ego-clinging to a self..
that needs to have more, be more, be better than..
it is a funky feeling and i don't like it taking up residence..
move out! please and thanks..

the moving van that takes it to the dump
is respect, support and the giving/receiving of gifts..

if i love one another,
feed one another..
i am feeding myself....
nourished by nourishing..
wisely selfish, the dalai lama tells us..

the beauty of the partnership (of the three sisters)
is that each plant does what it does in order
to increase its own growth..
but as it happens, when the individuals flourish,
so does the whole.

the most important thing each of us can know
is our unique gift and how to use it in the world.
individuality is cherished and nurtured, because, 
in order for the whole to flourish,
each of us has to be strong in who we are and
carry our gifts with conviction, so they can be shared by others...
in reciprocity, we fill our spirits...
                    ~ braiding sweetgrass

farming..

there is a story from the olden days of india..

a woman was asked ..
what is your occupation?

she answered..
a farmer..

ha!
you don't look like a farmer..
how much land do you have?

five and a half feet,
she replied..

wha! laughing loudly..
you cannot raise much in
five and a half feet of land...

ahh! this is quite special soil..
she countered..
this body is my field.
my thoughts and actions are the seeds..
karma.. as it is..
is the harvest!


reading
braiding sweetgrass
by robin wall kimerer

my favorite lines so far ~

all flourishing is mutual.
what happens to one happens to all.
we can starve together or feast together..

reading
the more beautiful world
our hearts know is possible
by charles eisenstein

principles of the new story..

that my being partakes of your being
and that of all beings. this goes beyond interdependency -
our very existence is relational.

that, therefore, what we do to another,
we do to ourselves.

that each of us has a unique and necessary 
gift to give to the world.

that the purpose of life is to express our gifts.

that every act is significant 
and has an effect on the cosmos.

that we are fundamentally unseparate from each other,
from all beings, and from the universe.

that every person we encounter and every experience we have
mirrors something in ourselves.

that humanity is meant to join fully the tribe 
of all life on earth, offering our uniquely human gifts
toward the well-being and development of the whole.

that purpose, consciousness, and intelligence
are innate properties of matter and the universe.

each book and author quotes einstein exactly !!!!!
god doesn't play dice with  the universe..

how interesting!
we are relational..

we are the farmers.. of the universal field..
we are the weavers .. of the holy prayer rug..

all flourishing is mutual..
we are the medicine..
we are the seeds..
we are the harvest..the feast..

j. krishnamurti would add...
you are the world, the world is you.

with such a one i am in love ~

shri krishna tells arjuna
in the bhagavad gita ~

that one i love who is incapable of ill will
and returns love for hatred.
living beyond the reach of i and mine,
and of pleasure and pain,
full of mercy, contented,
self-controlled,  firm in faith..
with such a one i am in love.

not agitating the world or by it agitated,
who stands above the sway of elation,
competition, and fear, accepting life
good and bad as it comes.
one who is pure, efficient, detatched,
ready to meet every demand...

who serves both friend and foe with equal love,
not buoyed up by praise or cast down by blame,
alike in heat and cold, pleasure and pain,
free from selfish attachments and self-will
ever full, in harmony everywhere..
with such a one i am in love...

* rage rage against the dying of the light ~

when asked what i myself am doing
as the new adminitration is channeling
orcs, goblins, trolls and ....
my answer is quick and true -
reading poetry..
lots of poetry !

this morning as the news filtered thru
i found my self inquiring into
the art of self-immolation..!
light my fire
the sacrifice of the self for a mighty cause..
a suicide for the great benefit of all ~
gandhi's fasts were of this ilk..
many ways to kneel and kiss the ground..

as i researched the pheonomenon..
the images coming forward were
unspeakable, gruesome, frightful..
& as i looked deep into myself of self..
i did not have the stomach for it..
still, so very interesting to see
that that is what first arrived on my plate
of insights this morning...

to change my mind
i am out for a frozen bike ride
along the seashore..
a shoreline that is being eaten away by
oceanic power waves ..
erosion..wearing away..

the sun pouring down like honey..
the waves receiving that sweet luminosity..
white with light unnameable..
seabirds gliding on thin air..
untroubled and hanging in the gracious ethers..

struggling up a hill in a nearby neighborhood
(remember, no gears on spike the bike..)
i note a street coated with flags hanging on every house..
which america are they saluting?
i want to knock on each door and ask..
is this a home of the free?
are you crowning the good with brotherhood?

'tis a morning of mourning to see
the erosion of a homeland..
&
the end is the beginning...

remember the line in the sand?
you were there, on the telly, part of
the military. you didn't want to 
give it but they took your money
for those lethal tanks and the bombs.

minorities,  they don't have a country, 
even if they vote:  "thanks anyway,"
the majority says, and you are left there
staring at the sand and the line they drew,
calling it a challenge,  calling it "ours."

where was your money when the tanks
grumbled past? which bombs did you buy
for the death rain that fell? which year's 
taxes put that fire to the town
where the screaming began?
                     ~ william stafford
                        the way it is


thoreau on civil disobedience..

the authority of the government
must have the sanction and consent
of the governed..
it can have no pure right
over my person or property
but what i concede to it.

if 1000 men and women were not to pay
their tax-bills this year, that would not be
a violent and bloody measure,
as it would be to pay them..
and enable the state to commit violence
and shed innocent blood.

i do not care to track the course of my dollar
'til it buys a man or a gun to shoot one with,
but i am concerned to trace the effects of my allegiance.


gandhi on nonviolence.. civil disobedience..

the basic principle on which the practice of nonviolence
rests is that what holds good in respect of oneself
equally applies to the whole universe.
all mankind in essence are alike.

this is the essence of the principle of nonviolent noncooperation.
it follows therefore that it must have its root in love.

civil disobedience is the inherent right of the citizen.
they dare not give it up without ceasing to be a (wo)man.
civil disobedience is never followed by anarchy ..
...to put down civil disobedience
is to attempt to imprison conscience.

to see the universal and all-pervading spirit of truth
face to face one must be able to love the meanest creation as oneself.
and a man or a woman who aspires after that
cannot afford to keep out of any field of life.
that is why my devotion to truth has drawn me
into the field of politics:
and i can say without the slightest hesitation,
and yet in all humility,
that those who say that religion
has nothing to do with politics
do not know what religion means.



throughout history our mystics, sages
and religious figures speak with remarkable accord:

we are all cells in the timeless body of god.
as you have done to the least of these, my brethren,
you have done unto me.
the i is not separate from the you.

sometimes, there is a magical moment 
in an expression or a gesture.  in that moment,
we do not see the other person.
we see ourselves and, for that instant, we get it.
it is a small breakthrough to the infinite.

once experienced, we are forced to either deny
the event and the sages, or marvel at our relationship
- our unity - with all others.

and from this unity we realize
that to wage war on another
is to commit suicide.
                  ~ nels christianson


do not be ashamed

You will be walking some night
in the comfortable dark of your yard
and suddenly a great light will shine
round about you, and behind you
will be a wall you never saw before.
It will be clear to you suddenly
that you were about to escape,
and that you are guilty: you misread
the complex instructions, you are not
a member, you lost your card
or never had one. And you will know
that they have been there all along,
their eyes on your letters and books,
their hands in your pockets,
their ears wired to your bed.
Though you have done nothing shameful,
they will want you to be ashamed.
They will want you to kneel and weep
and say you should have been like them.
And once you say you are ashamed,
reading the page they hold out to you,
then such light as you have made
in your history will leave you.
They will no longer need to pursue you.
You will pursue them, begging forgiveness,
and they will not forgive you.
There is no power against them.
It is only candor that is aloof from them,
only an inward clarity, unashamed,
that they cannot reach. Be ready.
When their light has picked you out
and their questions are asked, say to them:
“I am not ashamed.” 
A sure horizon will come around you. 
The heron will rise in his evening flight from the hilltop.
                ~ wendell berry


* dylan thomas - of course

PS: LISTEN THANKS

Listen
with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railing
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank you
we are standing by the water looking out
in different directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
looking up from tables we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in the doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the back door
and the beatings on the stairs we are saying thank you
in the banks that use us we are saying thank you
with the crooks in the office with the rich and fashionable
unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you

with animals dying around us
our lost feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster than the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like the cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us like the earth
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
we are saying thank you and waving
dark though it is
                             ~ w. s. merwin

musings on momentary motivation

~ the importance of motivation ~

if one is motivated by the awakening mind 

intent on attaining enlightenment 

for all sentient beings,

the positive results will be unending. 

                ~ HHDL

time is nothing other than tension...

all tenses are immediate in the mind..

immediate =  present  instant  current  nearest  direct

past, present, future

present of past things -  current memory 

present of present things - current attention

present of future things - current expectations

               ~ st. augustine

what if...

in the present (of past things) we remember enlightenment for all sentient beings

what if...

in the present (of present things) we attend to enlightenment for all sentient beings

what if ...

in the present (of future things) we envision enlightenment for all sentient beings

beyond this..
what is there to say?

we are here and it is now..
clarity is free from choosing..
choosing arrives when we are uncertain..

radically wide awake - make no effort ..
effort involves time
(see above!)
stand soverereign in instantaneous presence..

is motivation a choosing?
what a musing..

love is a river.. drink from it..
love is an ocean.. swim in it..
love is a raindrop.. be drenched 
                                  be soaked
                                      be saturated