spiritual scar tissue

the kingdom of spirit is embodied in my flesh
                               ~ pattern on the trestle board

i have always counted my scars..
as they have added up over this marvelous and fleeting lifetime..
i have always felt them to be worthy making...
like proud flesh
when younger, i would show anyone who was interested
all the stigmata i had gathered ...
stigma - a mark or spot on the skin - medical 
stigma - in a flower  - the part of the pistil that 
that receives pollen during pollination - botanical

my first came when i was three or four..
THUMP!
bump! in the night when i fell out of bed and hit the side table..
the night stand - standing between me and the floor..
my mother rushed in to find me grounded..
my tow-head turned red head in a heartbeat minute
as the blood gushed out of my crown
she scooped me up, fled down the flight of stairs
and into the kitchen..laid me on the counter
she ran - as cold as she could - warm cold water over my skull..
washing the wound.. me squalling like a midwest storm ..
my mama nursed and butterfly-bandaged the V shape gouge
which held the red river back..
V for victory
it has been said when the spirit leaves the body
it travels up and out the crown of the head..
V  ~ a perfect exit up and out ~
may spirit find the way ..

my second.. that i recall..  was about 3 years later..
riding my bicycle as fast as the wind..
with clothes pins and playing cards
thumping and bumping
thickity-clickity
around the neighbourhood in the suburbs of chicago...
this burly brown dog
shoots out from nowhere
to find the source of the racket
down! thump! bump! i go..
the canine of the month
took a wee chunk from my cheek
and then began licking the nip!
it shows up vaguely when it catches the sun..
when a dog runs at you, whistle for him
                         ~ h.d. thoreau


my family often visited the VA hospital in chicago
to be with our father who was very sick.
he died quite young
from the complications of a disease
we knew nothing about..
~ my first heart scar ~
the first cut is the deepest 
            - cat stevens
my sis and i were frequently found running
through the halls  - and scolded  for it -
while our mother would be speaking
to the many doctors .. of unspeakable things..
working up quite a thirst from one such runabout,
sara hoisted me up to the porcelain fountain
to quench my marathon hankering..
weighty and squirmy and cumbersome,
she let fall my bones, my chinny-chin-chin, on the font..
such squealing and howling had not been heard
in those corridors before or since ~


returning home sweet home
from traveling many months
thru india, pakistan,
afghanistan, turkey,
greece and yugoslavia
26 years young..
right breast
lump - thump in my heart..
in those days, it was easy
to stop in to our friend-of-the family doctor
(whose practice had nothing to do with breasts)
a podiatrist!
baring my chest and my soul
he quickly covered me up
o! please! no! no!
briskly yet kindly sending me to a surgeon..
fibrous cyst..
which most probably would have melted away..
but in those days, many were quick to cut ~
my second surgery since tonsillitis..
coming out of the anesthesia,
i heard the recovery nurses query..
no tan line.. hummm?
wonder where she's been?
and..what she's been doing?
without missing a beat i answered..
greece, the island of skiathos, paradise,
sunbathing in the buff ~ 
how bold and brash and brazen
non-malignant, praise the high holies..

slip streaming away up on high past Rockport
on a golden autumn glimmer of a day
with my third and last former spouse
you have crossed many waters to be here
                  -van morrison
i slipped indeed on some sharp slithery rocks..
gashing my shin bone deep ~
what a most amazing thing!
how the shin grew to the size of a boulder..
beyond the pain was the wonderment of such a miracle ~
my wedding ring was lost in the commotion that day.
a sure sign of things to come..
plenty of heart scars from this one

up those many stairs
at a wing and a prayer yoga studio
while adjusting the space heaters for more cozy warmth
my left ring finger toe
slit to the tiny depth of bone and blood ..
~ beware of those sharp and shivery heaters ~
when the practitioners arrived that cold snowy morning,
my legs were up the wall
with a spouting, spurting red release that would not quit..
we all decided we must cancel practice.
escorted to the ER by a most sweet yogini ~
a real nurse and soothing presence ..
she stayed with me through and through..

and lastly, and not leastly
the hip..
the right hip..
the bone on bone hip hurray..
what a trip!
the slice - very pretty and straight as an arrow-
on my top thigh for anterior entry..
o how i thought my life was ending before this deed was done..

of course, there are skitterings and scatterings
of knee, elbow and ankle scars..
eyebrow nicks and finger gashes
with no recollections of their storyline..

so far, it seems, just about the right amount
of pollination and marks on the skin
to bring the honey to the spirit kingdom ..

trees of life,
these bones and blood-filled bodies ~
trunks and limbs
mystic seed pod scars
evolving to a noble end one day
knowing there is only the beginning..
again and again
amen

on the day when death will knock at your door,
what will you offer her?
o, i will set before my guest
the full vessel of my life.
i will never let her go with empty hands.
                    ~  rabindranath tagore

ficus religiosa

for the purpose of learning how to breathe

i spent one long and beautiful lifetime as a tree
to breathe and nothing else
to stand and let my breath pass
in and out of each soft wood cell
my fragrant core
my crumbling bark
my smallest translucent and finely veined leaf
and i breathed in this way
autumn upon autumn
summer layered on summer
as leaf upon drifting leaf
the years gathering quietly at my feet

it would seem good preparation to be human
but so little carries over
from one lifetime to the next
the amount of rain that catches on a leaf
i have forgotten how to breathe
how to stand still within my skin
yet i have a deep affinity for trees
and on days when a warm and steady wind
turns leaves
turns clouds
i could listen all day to the sound
and feel vaguely happy vaguely sad

                               ~ eileen o’toole

 ජය ශ්‍රී මහා බොධිය
jaya sri maha bodhi

the sacred fig tree
ficus religiosa
in mahamewna gardens ~
anuradhapura
sri lanka
said to be the southern branch
from buddha's awakening tree
sri maha bodhi in bodhgaya, india ~
planted in 288 BC
'tis the oldest living human-planted tree
in the world with a known planting date ..
'tis one of the most sacred in sri lanka ~

it is said..
there are three ways
to revere, adore, exalt the buddha -
a statue
a stupa
a tree

the living,
breathing,
rustling,
sussurating,
quivering,
of tree..
of bo tree
arrives most vibrant in my heart and bones..
most at home..most true..
to sit beneath one such tree -
to inspire and expire
the veritable rapture of the buddha
is to pulse the heartthrob
of its very own self..
the no self..
ridding me of self centeredness
emptying me of dalliances with delusion
freeing me from the grasp of mistaken identity
for one brief moment

shosoku -
japanese
the feeling one has 
when receiving 
a letter from home..

sitting beneath a bodhi tree..
jaya sri maha bodhi..
one receives such a letter..
a direct transmission of the buddhadharma ..
the transmission of sunyata..
the transmission of emptiness..
so absolutely full to the brim
with the way it is
with the this of that
~ the sacred calm which lights 
the lamp of awakening ~

the sound,
if one could even call it a sound
a moistening, maybe..
passing through my inner ear
so that when i sit,
when i take the seat..
deep listening opens to that very vibration
that very whispering
and
i am under that very tree, the holy bo
i am that very tree
there is no me..

moksha!

make your revolution in the invisible temple
make your temple in the invisible revolution   
                 ~ jorie graham

the practice pack

eat
rest
rove in between
render loyalty
love the children
cavil in the moonlight
tune your ears
attend to the bones
make love
howl often
    - general wolf rules for life
        clarissa pinkola estés

i actually feel those who practice 

yoga together are a pack..

a wolf pack..a coyote pack..

the dictionary defines pack thusly -

a group of wild animals, 

especially wolves, 

living and hunting together

don't you think that sounds like us..?

living..the wise art of yoga

hunting.. the luminosity of momentary bliss

living..the yamas and the niyamas

hunting.. truth in the pathless land..

living... a joyous poetic life ..

hunting...bounty with the snare of gratitude *

yep! that's us, alright..
                                  *rumi

afterthought
such a precious human body,
difficult to rediscover;
such precious pain,
not difficult to discover;
such an old story
is by now a familiar joke.
you and i know the facts and the case history;
we have a mutual understanding of each other
which has never been sold or bought by anyone.
our mutual understanding keeps the thread of sanity.
sometimes the thread is electrified,
sometimes it is smeared with honey and butter;
nevertheless, we have no regrets.
since i am here,
seemingly you are here too.
let us practice!
sitting is a jewel that ornaments our precious life.
                ~ chögyam trungpa

...because you experience joy and celebration in your practice,
it does not feel like a burden to you.
therefore, you aspire further and further.
you would like to attain enlightenment.
you would like to be free from neurosis.
you would also like to serve all "mother sentient beings"
throughout all times, all situations, at any moment.
you are willing to become a rock or a bridge or a highway.
you are willing to serve any worthy cause 
that will help the rest of the world.
this is the same basic kind of aspiration 
as in taking the bodhisattva vow.
it is also general instruction of becoming a pliable person, 
so that the world can use you as a working basis for
their enjoyment of sanity.
                     ~ chögyam trungpa

thanks giving..

wanderer, your footsteps are the road, 
and nothing more; 
wanderer, there is no road, 
the road is made by walking. 
by walking one makes the road, 
and upon glancing behind one sees the path 
that never will be trod again. 
wanderer, there is no road ~ 
only wakes upon the sea.
                    ~ antonio machado

mother india grasps you firmly by the hand
leading you with such fierce tenderness
to an abyss of the unknown..
a nudge tumbles you off the edge -
as your whirl and twirl
reeling
down
down,
you see her arms open wide ~
she gathers you up up in a beneficent embrace
 ~ known and unknown are one ~

( i penned this on my very first sojourn to india

over 45 years ago...)

it has been 7 plus years since i last kissed the hem of mother india ~
though it may have seemed that i would not a' journey there again
after such misadventures of fever and hospitalization ..
one always returns to the mother ..
be it our precious birth mother
(or adopted mama)
a beloved mother country,
our wholly precious mother earth...

thanksgiving day practice -
thursday the 28th
9:30 AM
Crescent Moon Yoga
606 Morris Street
La Conner WA 98257

every moment of your life is infinitely creative
and the universe is endlessly bountiful.
just put forth a clear enough request
and everything your heart desires
must come to you.
                      ~  m.k. gandhi

while in the past we have donated the thanksgiving basket
to an honorable non-profit organization,
may i request this year's proceeds from practice
go toward fortifying a long awaited india homecoming?
please and thank you ~
( gift certificates for private sessions 
and practice series are available too!)

i'll take my leave after our practice on thanksgiving day
to drive south with mila rubie -
red prius extraordinaire - loaded to the max..
- after tucking her safely in..
on december 3rd ~
with a gladsome heart
on my way ~
INDIA!

every time you leave home, 
another road takes you
into a world you were never in.
                           ~ john o'donahue

it is astonishing to me ~ and delightful ~
the enduring enthusiasm i have in sharing
the practice of yoga and the deep dharma...
which i love so very much...
i am eternally grateful and bowled over
by the sustenance and sweet kindness
the yoga tribe extends in my direction ~ thank you ~
( have i told you lately that i love you? )

in the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying 
to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. 
in the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender 
before the miraculous scope of human generosity 
and just keep saying thank you,  forever and sincerely,  
for as long as we have voices.
                                                ~ elizabeth gilbert 

2 FREE COMMUNITY PRACTICES IN NOVEMBER ~
SUNDAY the 10th and  SUNDAY the 24th
5:30 - 6:30 PM
please join in for a sweet and easy practice ~
OM!

 blessed joy-filled thanks-giving for all and every!   

all hallow's eve - dia de los muertos

fire is whispering a secret in smoke's ear.
this aloes wood loves me
because i help live out its purpose.

with me it becomes fragrance,
and then disappears altogether.

the knots untie and open into absence, 
as you do with me, my friend.

eaten by flame, and smoked out into the sky.
this is most fortunate.

what's unlucky is not to change and disappear.
                           ~ rumi

thursday october 31st..
all hallow's eve
dia de los muertos
samhain
the eve of all saint's day
halloween..

we  will light the flame to remember our ancestors ~
~ to honor, celebrate and enjoy our lineages and friends ..
~ to make an ofrenda..an offering..

crescent moon yoga
606 morris street 
laconner WA 98275

many ways to kneel and kiss this day..
** come early** around 8:30 or so
to help set up the altar..

bring pictures of your familiares..
those loved and gone before..
bring food, sweets, candles, cookies,
bread, copal, flowers (marigolds!)
lights, trinkets, treasures, holy objects..

**join in the regular yoga practice ** 9:30 - 11AM
** come to the sitting meditation ** 11:30 - 12:30PM
please arrive between 11:10 - 11:25 
to set up your cushion, chair 
we wait for them sitting down
** meet up @ santo coyote mexican kitchen** 1PM
201 morris street
may the feasting begin 
**all or any of the above**

costumes are encouraged ..
please join us!

dia de los muertos ~ all hallow's eve ~ 2019

notice that autumn 
is more the season of the soul 
than of nature.
                    ~ nietzsche

we will be putting on an ofrenda..
an offering.. to honor our ancestors
thursday, october 31st..
setting up an abundant altar
before our yoga practice @ 9:30am
please come !
crescent moon yoga
606 morris street 
laconner WA 98275

bring pictures of your familiares..
those loved and gone before..
bring food, sweets, candles, cookies,
bread, copal, flowers (marigolds!)
lights, trinkets, treasures, holy objects..

the veil is delicate these days -
we shape shift our vision
to welcome our ancestors..

we will have our usual fine time of yoga practice..
thereafter, those who wish to take their leave, will -
those who choose to stay..
two sessions of sitting in silence
perchance a kinhin - walking meditation -
chairs are available
those who wish to join in only for the sitting
please arrive before 11:30 am
there is no charge for the festivities and sit ~
dana (donations) and costumes are always welcome ....

come! come!
place your heart upon the altar..
join in merriment and celebration!

this is love:
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils
to fall each moment...
                    ~ rumi

IF THOSE PARTICIPATING WOULD LIKE TO
MEET AT SANTO COYOTE MEXICAN KITCHEN
FOR A MEAL THEREAFTER,
WE WILL ALL BE HUNGRY GHOSTS BY THEN, EH?
i will cheque in with the kitchen to let them know
there may well be a group of us..
(THOSE WISHING TO JOIN IN FOR MEAL ONLY - COME ON!)



In this special month,
Where all is party and dance,
We remember with love
Traditions and make praises.

It is necessary to remember
That with our pure faith,
we know we will meet again.
We welcome our ancestors.

For our loved ones
We build an altar,
For their souls and heart beats
We sense them coming back!

We celebrate them and praise them
With tasty bread and sweets -
Placed on altars
With flowers, candles, mezcal!

These exquisite gifts,
That are bright  and colorful,
Of sugar and skull shapes
We leave for them.

To make them happy
In their fleeting visit,
In this land of love
Our pure memories linger.

For us it is a great gift
To be able to find them,
On such special days
to be able to enjoy them.

If our dead ones knew
How much we miss them,
They would come every day
And it would be simpatico!

We wait for them sitting down
And know we’ll converse
These two nights full
With warmth and treats.

Dear happy souls,
Knowing that we love you,
We remember your presence,
And await your arrival!
                       ~ unknown

strike the match - ignite september 20-27

meditation is old and honorable, so why should i
not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside,
looking into the shining world?  because, proper-
ly attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is sug-
gestion.  can one be passionate about the just, the
ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit
to no labor in its cause?  i don't think so.

all summations have a beginning, all effect has a 
story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.
thought buds toward radiance.  the gospel of
light is the crossroads of --- indolence, or action.

be ignited, or be gone.

~ mary oliver  what i have learned so far


this early morning..moon cloud hidden..
peeping out again and again
a watchful eye to catch a glimpse of earth..

earth speaking plainly through fragrance
scent of moist soil dug in deep with wet weep
rains calling for wake up..

i felt certain i smelled the fresh watery voice
redolent with the perfumes of faraway lands -
incense, dung, spice and herb
fire, ice and countless living beings
requesting heedfulness of hands feet hearts

earth implores with the whiff of rising tides
come stand with me for me
kindle the tinder of care
vox terra ~ vox populi
ignite or be gone ~

Friday, September 20, 2019 • 11:00 AM rally / 12:00PM march
Bellingham City Hall • 210 Lottie St, Bellingham, WA 98225
Contact Info: 350bellingham@gmail.com
youth led all ages climate strike on September 20th.

*Wear green, all day, anywhere