practicing ~ compassion

i am a dharma practitioner,
having studied the Way for
many moons now..
my practice began long before
i read the first dharma book (16)
on a very long list i had conjured..
living zen 
     ~ robert linssen

we had moved from chicago to anacortes (10)
from the midwest to the great northwest -
walking was my first physical practice..

the road has two rules:
begin and continue.
          ~ christmas humphreys

above all, do not lose your desire to walk:
everyday i walk myself into a state of well-being
and walk away from illness:
i have walked myself into my best thoughts,
and i know of no thought so burdensome
that one cannot walk away from it...
             ~søren kierkegaarde

those solitary step, step, steps
would settle my zippity-do-dah mind..
thoughts would cool and calm..
quieting the recycled inner chatter -
i could wear my bones and flesh more easily..
soo much energy to balance ~

yet..
one must take that plunge into the abyss
of thought to no-thought
~ think no thinking ~
where one finds one self
resting comfortably with a cuppa
in the sitting still of meditation..
(this would arise a whole lot later!)

human thought is awareness in motion;
samadhi is awareness at rest.
             ~ philip kapleau

sitting still was no easy task ~
jumbling and bumbling
running skipping swinging bicycling
walk walk walking..
tree climbing wrestling
skating - ice and roller
tap dancing acrobatics
tumbling turning twisting
swimming skimming..
practice was being in a body
that sizzled zip, zing and pep
to the point of burning up..

what is to give light must endure burning.
              ~ viktor frankl

my mama had quite a time with me..
my sister wisely ignored me..
teachers were fed up with me..
school mates were enamored and confused -
i was roiling..
poetry spoke volumes of deep visions and confiding notions -
dostovevsky opened the dark spaces i crawled in and out..
having realized i was an illegitimate child -
(adopted by loving parents.. sallie and ralph.. at 3 months)
i took that to the mat and wrangled it down
until i was blue in the face..
( and not the  holy enlightened blue 
of krishna or samantabhadra!) 

growing up
one of my wings beat faster,
i couldn't help it -
the one away from the light.

it hurt to be told all the time
how i loved that terrible flame.
            ~   w. stafford

traveling solo on a greyhound bus
at 16 in 1966 grew me out of much
of the angst and selfie selfishness..
though that is a life long practice,
is it not?

in order to practice compassion,
we have to know our own darkness
well enough so that we may sit 
in the dark with others..  
~ brene brown

it seemed i was a good listener
on that bus ride around the united states..
99$ for 99 days!
(though we all know i am full of the blarney
and like nothing more than to hear myself talk...)
my sense to actually place some one else before me
started to seed up and germinate..
this started my sitting stillness ~
one had to be still to listen, eh?
and..
where could i go on a moving greyhound bus?

o my o!
the stories i heard wore a thin patch
on the self-centered sweater of i, me, mineness..
bearing witness to inconceivable trauma and tragedy,
sagas of love and loss,
tribulations and injustices,
high drama and dark nights of the soul -
it was the historic time of martin luther king..
often taking my seat at the back of the bus,
i became aquainted with a brilliant fresh
species of suffering humanoids..
those days the bus was a cheap vehicle
to get low-incomers, scallawags and hobos
from hither to thither..

i loved it..
it soothed and frightened me..
i felt in the midst of real life..

compassion literally means embracing the suffering of others.
to embrace the suffering of others 
is to be liberated and opened by that suffering, 
to the point of finding love.
compassion is impossible if we can't learn 
to bear our own sufferings and difficulties -
if our old habits of denying and running away 
continues to have its way with us.
so the practice of mind training begins with the effort 
to turn toward the difficulty rather than away from it.
when we are no longer daunted by difficulties 
but are willing to engage and make use of them, 
we become truly resilient individuals.

our very difficulties and sufferings, 
if we hold them the right way, 
can be wedges to pry open our smallness.

remember:
dealing with others isn't just dealing with others...
dealing with others is dealing with ourselves dealing with others.
               ~ norman fischer


 ~ TO BE CONTINUED

in the interval..
how about a reading list?

training in compassion
norman fischer

the great path of awakening
ken mcleod

enlightened courage
dilgo khyentse rinpoche

buddhism with an attitude:
the tibetan seven-point mind training
b. alan wallace

training the mind 
and cultivating loving-kindness
chögyam trungpa

stop! look! listen!

i hope whatever you're doing
you've stopped now and then
and not doing it at all.
          ~james fadiman

i want to encourage you to step out of the normal "bounds"
of your life and begin to see yourself differently.
i want to encourage you to live your life at the ... edge of time,
allowing yourself to be born into a new life every minute.
i want to encourage you to allow your life experience
to be lightly dusted with form.
                     ~ barbara brennan

so..
instead of adding time to yourself,
remove time.
the elimination of time
from your consciousness
is the elimination of ego.
it is the only true spiritual practice.
          ~ eckhart tolle
      


tree mountain zen

it's so fine, it's sunshine

Say the word and you'll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I'm thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It's so fine, it's sunshine
It's the word, love

In the beginning I misunderstood
But now I've got it, the word is good
Spread the word and you'll be free
Spread the word and be like me
Spread the word I'm thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It's so fine, it's sunshine
It's the word, love

Every where I go I hear it said
In the good and bad books that I have read
Say the word and you'll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I'm thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It's so fine, it's sunshine
It's the word, love

the beatles
the word
rubber soul

give it a listen !

gate guardian..nandi.. the bull

it was a day like any other day these days..
hot, hot and more hot..
mila rubie ~ the finest prius in existence ~
and i were traveling up bay view road
heading who knows where..
we reached the crossroads @ farm to market ..
stopped at the sign..
i drew a deep, mindful breath..
onward.. mila invited me..
yet
looking up to turn..

across the road
behind a chain link fence
i catch sight of a mammoth dark figure ambling..
no, limping toward the gate..
what could this massive movement be?
we wondered aloud..

driving forward to the gravel inlet
a bull -
black and lame -
heading straight toward us..

i meet him at the portal..
he is ginormous ..
he is foaming at the mouth
he is covered head to hoof in flies
he is soaking wet
he is seemingly in immense pain

we are face to face
eye to eye
deep in we go
into one another's presence
momentarily transported
beyond form to essence
we wait and watch and see and listen
breathing in..breathing out..
in a spell
a unified field..
the radiant ground of being

behold the one in all things
it is the second that leads you astray.
                          ~ kabir

the flies rise and fall from his angus flesh
breathing with us
in, out..
up, down..

as easily as we fell into one another we fall away..
his left leg is weak and dwarfed in comparison to the right..
he turns away ..
circles a wide berth
hobbling from the entry
from our prayer

witnessing his slow and tortuous path
into a ravine
only his back now
hillocking
until he finds the road once more
until he is no more

what movie am i in?
what planet am i on?
where am i?
who am i?

nandi
नन्दि
the gate - guardian deity of kailasa, 
the abode of shiva. 
a mighty bull who serves 
as the mount to shiva ~

i have met the gate guardian
and he is me..

OM NAMAH SHIVAH

mooning!

it's the buck moon..
(according to some..)
is that where mooning comes from..
pulling down our knickers
and exposing a buck naked derriere ?

or is it the raspberry moon?
is that where raspberrying comes from?
the puckering of lips and fluttering
a sound of heaven knows what..!
my olde and dear friend, rainier,
would often raspberry me by putting me on..
offering some piece of wisdom or factoid
that was none of the above..

maybe it's the salmon moon..?
where those deep true
gill-bearing aquatic craniate animals
that lack limbs with digits,
forming a sister group to tunicates,
together configuring olfactores..
those inspiring ones who die for love..
show us how it's done..
~ unconditional love ~

all i know is that the moon was very, very full
this very, very early morning when i hit the trail
- the moon glade upon the water -
guiding my step by step  by step
until it went introvert behind the morning fog bank..

at first light...
in a nearby field
hay rolls presented themselves
ragged in van gogh colours ..
muted dunes of caramel -
looking rather like random ancient rock formations..
perhaps the callanesh standing stones..
or a cattywompus zendo
of haphazard nuns and monks
sitting the morning star awake ..

my second name..
(the first being susan, by my birth mother..)
the name my adopted parents dubbed me
...dianna..
(the extra N keeps my cloaking device activated)
...is after the goddess
of the hunt,
of the moon,
and of nature..

no wonder moons have their way
with me upon fullness  ~

all this is full,
all that is full, 
from fullness, fullness comes..
when fullness is taken from fullness,
fullness still remains..
               ~ upanishads

i am not alone..
the moon in fullness seems to affect our 60 % water human forms ..
the ocean's tides and a swelling earth’s crust cannot help but
wheedle awhile awoo away at our essence..

to be ensconced in reciprocity..
with nature and moon stuff and stoned haystacks
while hunting for the senseless sense in the sensate
makes me loony ..

may i always be ever so ever so grateful ~

note: the third moniker awarded me..
on a bus in turkistan by a whirling dervish
from my traveling dictionary is dunya..
in arabic/turkish meaning world or rather.. worldly..
it was re-arranged and re-tagged and re-spelled
in yugoslavia by an innkeeper in sibenik
as dunja to denote another spherical entity -
a small, fuzzy melon or quince..
still in the shapely orb of moon ~

all we need is love

only love matters, friend.
all our spiritual knowledge and attainments,
all the drama of the "i know more than you" mind,
all the spiritual posturing of the frightened ego,
just pale in comparison to the simple joy of true connection,
and the peace that comes from knowing that you are
nothing less than a burning sun.

for billions of years, the sun has given us
its awesome power for free.
(can't buy me love!)
think of all the burning it has had to endure
in order to shine so brightly and give us life.
                       jeff foster
                          italics: beatles

even

after

all this time

the sun never says to the earth,

  

"you owe 

     me"

look

what happens

with a love like that,

it lights the 

whole

sky.

~ hafiz - the gift

there is nothing to practice.

to know yourself, be yourself.

to be yourself, 

stop imagining yourself to be this or that.

just be.

(let it be!)

let your true nature emerge.

don't disturb your mind with seeking.

                    ~ sri nisargadatta

                      italics: beatles

I dig love
I dig love in the morning
I dig love in the evening
I dig love and I want you to know I dig love

Small love, big love, I don't care
Love's all good love to me
Left love, right love, anywhere love
There's a rare love, come on and get it, it's free

Bought love, short love, in any port
Love's always there to see
Make love, take love, but you should give love
And try to live love, come on that's where you should be

Yes, I want you to know I dig love
To know I dig love
Yes, I do
I dig love 
                     ~ george harrison
                     all things must pass
                  

switching roles

gray wolf said,
why do we always do everything
in exactly the same way?
raven said,
steady on.
gray wolf said,
maybe we should switch roles sometimes.
somebody else could be the teacher and
you could just be one of the students.
raven said,
it's happening.
          ~ zen master raven
              robert aitken

i am often asked why i do not
offer a teacher training program..
actually, i have..
years, i mean..years ago in los angeles
(when i had no business doing so!)
a one-on-one
teacher training course
with a few practictioners..
they were certified thru my teacher's
yoga shala in delhi..

and actually...
i do have a teacher's training course..
whenever i take off
~ leaving a studio or a class behind ~
another blossoming teacher takes the reins..
this is the very best training!
they are in the present moment
actualizing the practice..
of teaching..
of learning ..
of studying self while studying others..
( is there really a difference?)

when i return,
finding another studio or
generating yet another class..
it begins again..
students
practitioners
teachers
~ certified thru
the flying elephant
wing and a prayer
yoga dharma shala
!!!
nothing to hang on the wall -
simply an imprint and a blaze
in heart and bone .....

the question also arises as to why
i no longer offer workshoppes and retreats..
does anyone remember
year of the fire tiger?
1986
summer solstice 
full moon
energi mountain
7 days 7 hours a day
! 49 hours !

these days,
it's the quotidian i savor ~
(average, run-of-the-mill, standard, typical, 
middle-of-the-road, workaday, undistinguished, 
commonplace, mundane, prosaic, garden-variety)
a weekly practice ~
with dharma friends ..
together - practicing what is rare to practice..
each session is retreat..
each practice - a workshoppe -
a most stunning and unimaginable way
to be with one another ~

sooner than soon perhaps
i'll be a barista whipping up mantras in the creme -
maybe walking frisky dogs to the metronome of meditation
or polishing electric cars running on OM ~
certainly one day
i'll be mulching my way
back to earthclay
under a shade tree
of jeweled compassion....

gray wolf made one of her rare visits to the circle,
and after a talk by raven she remarked,
the goal of practice seems to be just more practice.
raven bobbed his head, well?
gray wolf hesitated, then asked,
so there's no end to it?
raven hopped down from his perch 
to a little hummock beside gray wolf,
put his beak to her ear,
and murmured,
thank goodness.
                  ~ zen master raven
                        robert aitken

one by one, all is coming..
             sri pattabhi jois