Wednesday, July 27, 2022

I caught the darkness

 

 it was drinking from your cup..*

catching myself being caught..
praying in that /this moment 
that it is not contagious...

the mind has a way..
is it the mind?
the ego-ish mind 
has a way 
of
circling the drain once 
it 
starts 
going 
down..

sometimes i grab my throat..
or thump my chest to see if i might 
break the spell..
though that particular mind 
has a mind 
of its own..
a separate entity 
of enmity 
going down..

the medicine,
the cure..
actually
is

the 
letting 
down

deep in the lowlands 
there is this pause..
a standstill 
maybe a cease fire..

where i..
whoever that may be..
breaks free
lollops.. into the murk..
the mirth
resting there 
seeing 
so very clearly
how i held/hold my-self 
at odds 
with  - away - from
the whole galaxy..
bluster!
sudden luster 
light!
i am the drinker
i am the drink
i am the cup
I am  awake!

does that ever happen to you?
whoever you may be....

* leonard cohen


do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.
all things break. and all things can be mended.
not with time,  as they say,  but with intention.
so go.
love the world intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.
the broken world waits in the darkness for the light that is you.
                                    ~ l. r. knost








Wednesday, May 4, 2022

mama mia

 

The courage that my mother had
Went with her, and is with her still:
Rock from New England quarried;
Now granite in a granite hill.

The golden brooch my mother wore
She left behind for me to wear;
I have no thing I treasure more:
Yet, it is something I could spare.

Oh, if instead she’d left to me
The thing she took into the grave!—
That courage like a rock, which she
Has no more need of, and I have.
                                         ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay


i, too, have a brooch from my mother..
it is a petit point piece she needle crafted 
of roses..or are they poppies?
small lush red blooms that claim her gift
in mastering the art of tiny stitches..

i do not wear it often for fear of losing it..
it is olde fashioned..
reminding me of her great generation ~
our ancestors of indomitable will and courage..

the fullness and the vast capacity she had to love, 
to love her wily daughters,
to forgive the transgressions, 
the myriad misdemeanors,
the punches pulled, 
the bamboozlements attempted..
pulling no wool over her bright eyes..

my mother was resilient, brave and charming.
she traveled the distance - to wherever -
claiming that indeed..
this is the best possible world..

it is good to love many things,  
for therein lies strength,
and whosoever loves much performs much,  
and can accomplish much,
and what is done with love is well done.
there's nothing more truly artistic than to love people..
                                  ~ Vincent Van Gogh



















Saturday, April 16, 2022

jesus is just alright, o yeah


my relationship with jesus has been an interesting journey..
like many folk i know..

it began when i was a young methodist novice of christianity..
i was brought to sunday school in my best pinafores 
where i was given a picture of jesus..
a very congenial fellow with long hair, blue eyes..
very white and bright..
i liked him right away
- though he seemed to watch me wherever i went -
one of those pictures where the eyes followed one
around the corner and through the walls..
i remember placing the picture in my closet
just to get a little privacy..
every now and then, i'd step in for a viewing
and an intimate conversation..
we were closet buddies..

i grew away from him when i went off to theater school..
leaving him alone with his thoughts..
and taking mine with me..
i began my own svadyaya.. self-study..
buddhism - to study the way is to study the self
krishnamurti - to lead a timeless life, you must wear a watch
yoga - yoga is the dissolution of all reactive tendencies of the mind
gurdjieff - remember your self always and everywhere
sufism - love is the healing power and the remedy for all pain
i ching, the tarot, the runes

leaving him in the dust..in my closet

soo many years later 
while visiting my mother's family
in south carolina..
i was taken to a concert of the doobie brothers ..
of course, of course -
i knew the song..
it turned out to be more 
of a revival meeting than a rock concert..
the mantra ~
jesus is just alright

and he was, is.. always has been..
i like him..
now
much deeper and sweeter 
are my feelings for him and his teachings..
he speaks the truth
and i know 
from our long standing friendship 
that he asks only the best in us 
to 
shine, shine, shine..
after all, 
the kingdom of heaven is within..

he and the holy mother..
(all the holy mothers)
reside in the pantheon 
of high holies in my heart..
he is an ancestor and a spiritual friend ~

he rises every morning with the sun..
embraced by the buddhas,
dancing with the gopis,
sharing psalms in the highlands,
sowing seeds in the lowlands, 
riding the waves of every sea..

jesus is just alright with me


jesus is just alright
arthur reynolds - 1966

( first recorded by the art reynolds singers - 1966
the byrds - 1969, the doobies - 1972, dc talk - 1992)





 

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

the great yes


for some people the day comes
when they have to declare the great Yes
or the great No. it's clear at once who has the Yes
ready within them; and saying it,

they go from honor to honor, strong in their conviction.
they who refuse do not repent. asked again,
they would still say No. yet that No--the right No--
drags them down all their life.
                                 - constantine p. cavafy

recently - listening to a dharma talk by jane hirshfield -
she shared this poem..
a poem i knew vaguely..
yet one i could not forget..

the great yes 
the great no
do they abide within us?
the answers to mighty questions
perceived immediately..
with no doubt..
arising in a just this moment..
then - the wibbly ways
with no certain conviction, 
the great and perhaps wise unknown...

our saying No..
may be saying Yes elsewhere -
cloud hidden at the time..

our saying Yes
- a No in another meadow 
of our lives?

is Maybe the middle way?
Maybe.....

might we translate Rumi's poem..?

out beyond ideas of No (wrongdoing) and Yes (rightdoing),
there is a field. i'll meet you there.
when the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.


peace be with you ~
peace be with you,
friend 








Friday, March 18, 2022

full moon musings - eirēnikos

3 in the morning..
a clamor of some sea bell 
dinging 
ringing
if i listen deep enough
the hark bark of harbor seals
some comfort from the wild wet ones

cutting out paper hearts
colouring them blue and yellow
a ukraine leader declares peace
the way to freedom
emancipating the world 
perhaps the galaxies 

how to move about when one’s own heart
is shackled by the shackle of others
how to make things whole when 
there is a riptide in every holy haven
landscapes soaked in blood

breathing in bloodshed
breathing out boundless peace

there is a lighthouse 
a beacon
a flare 
a watchtower
in the pocket 
of every heart..
bearing witness
no turning away 
steeped, seeped 
saturated 
with the wages of war

the perfect moonlight 
spotlighting the wisdom
of those who know 
the time 
for peace has arrived
is always arriving

not peace between two wars

the peace residing 
in the center of each heart
bursting 
busted
wide open by the bloodbath
drenched dripping 

come away 
come awake

now





 

Friday, August 6, 2021

there will come soft rains

 

holy moly!
it is 4:44 in the morning of august 6 ~ 2021
there is a soft and tender rain pattering across 
the pavement, the yellowed dry grasses, 
the folded yard umbrella - table and chairs..

out in my barefeet to feel the moist..
barely enough wet to soak into my thirsty feet prints
hardly a trickle to dampen my morning bed head..
yet rejoice! hallelujah! praises in all things drizzly!

a poem seeps into my head..
sara teasdale
there will come soft rains..
googling to post it this drippy morn..
i find a short story by beloved ray bradbury
there will come soft rains
about 5 pages 
it is august 4, 2026.....
o my o!
a worthy shocking read..
bradbury at his best..

~ further on my search.. sara's poem ~
published just after the start of ww1 and 
in the midst of the 1918 flu pandemic.. 

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white,

Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.



Tuesday, June 29, 2021

note to email subscribers..

 

goodbye

you lean with one arm out
against the porch post,
your big hand cupping its curve, 
shy of that handshake
we both know is coming.
and when we've said enough, 
when the last small promises
begin to repeat, your eyes
come to mine, and then
you offer your hand, 
dusted with chalk from the post,
and sticky with parting.
                      ~ ted kooser

well,
i received a note from feed burner..
whoever they might be..
saying they would no longer feed
or automatically send out 
peaceishealthy posts..july 1..
i dunno...?
so dear subscribers ~
many heartfelt thanks for subscribing
and ..
please cheque the blog now and again 
to find some new posts..
though fallow for the last few months..
( the world around me felt somehow too too-some
to add anything too it..)
i have been blogging for the last 14 years ..
~ with a hiatus here and there ~
and will continue to muse about the this's and that's
that tickertape through my heart and mind..

as the cowgirls are wont to say ~
how can you miss me if i don't go away ?

much gratitude for reading, dear friends..